The crazy lady thought the puddle under her room had something to do with the tippy toilet...
The plumber came. He replaced the toilet with a free low-flow model from the city.
The puddle remained.
The crazy lady started spending lots of time angled down through the access to the crawl space holding her weight on her elbows. She noticed that the puddle seemed to grow when the sprinklers ran.
Now the owners of old houses will tell you that yards rise over time. And Ms. Ruby's was no exception. Her back lawn was an average of 17" higher than the point at which the back wall hit the dirt.
And then it started to rain. And Rain. And rain... And...
"WHAT IS THAT SMELL?" the crazy lady shouted into the cabinet under her kitchen sink.
She thought something had died under the house, and once again she strapped the LED light to her head and slithered through the crawl-space door.
Water. Everywhere. Deep smelly water. Yuck!
The crazy lady turned on the sump pump (not the right way to deal with this particular water-under-house problem, but thank heaven it was there!). Most of the water dutifully flowed up and out through the hose. The rest sprayed out through pinholes aimed conveniently at the crazy lady's face.
"Houston, we have a problem" said the crazy lady. And then she started to cry. And worry. And totally freak out. Her remaining functional brain cells gave the signal to remove the smelly-water-soaked clothes.
The crazy lady took a bath.
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